Where to start… Well, today is my birthday (yay) and I’ve hit the big “3-0”. I can’t help but to look back at my 20’s and reflect a little. There were good times and bad times, and super-fun-crazy times, but I think the events that have had the most impact on my life were the C.Diff-y times. Just when I was starting to have fun and feel confident in my adult-self and love my independence, C.Diff happened. And as you all know, life since then has been downright odd. And hard. And painful. But life since then has also been filled with a lot of love and support. I have experienced some very good things I may not have if I never had C.Diff. And I have been able to help and support others who are struggling through this experience with me. I have learned how to have a healthy compassion for others, and how to endure what seems endless with patience. I’m much tougher than I used to be 🙂 And, I hope, wiser.
I thought I’d be in a very different place by the time I hit 30. I saw a few degrees, an academic lifestyle and career, a house and a mortgage, maybe a husband, possibly a kid or two. I worked hard for those things for years, and they never happened. I never expected disability, dependence, and – let’s face it – poverty. But here I am. Many of you are in this place too. And it’s this crazy little bacteria called C.Diff that’s brought us to this. And the funniest part of it all, is that I’m actually grateful to be here. Because this place means I’m still alive. It means I’ve seen life narrowed down to its sharpest, most essential point. It means this is a beginning, and a start. It means my horizons are open, and I’m not stuck in a life I chose for myself ten years ago when I knew absolutely nothing about real life. Disaster has been my life for over three years now, but my life itself is not a disaster. For me, life is just starting.