Well, I didn’t die. But for a while, I was kinda wishing I would.
I spent the other morning (woke at about 5 am) crouched over an ottoman in my living room, unable to do anything but rock, and whimper, and cry. I broke some of my nails because I was clutching the fabric of the ottoman so hard. The abdominal pain and nausea were unbelievable. It felt like my body was trying to reject my stomach and my spine at the same time – one out the front of my body and the other out the back. That was probably due to the abdominal swelling. Unproductive vomiting and writhing ensued. Eventually, I was able to keep down two Gravol pills, one 8mg Zofran (an anti-emetic), a 10mg Buscopan pill, and 1mg of Clonazepam (because the gravol has the side-effect of making my Generalized Anxiety Disorder intensify, as all antihistamines do).
After about an hour the pain was a little diminished, and I was no longer heaving. Taking this as a good sign, I used an old standby trick to try to reduce the pain further: I ate ice. Yup – just regular old ice cubes. I crunch them up and swallow them down. The cold seems to help with whatever inflammation is going on in there.
The reason I’m posting this is to show how weird life can be for C.Diff. survivors. I don’t know what happened, but I think I might have had some kind of a stomach virus that made my insides sit up and scream. Maybe it was just the “post-infection IBS” having a party in my abdomen. I have no idea. My doctor has no idea. And there’s no way to really know. That seems to be the refrain for us survivors.
But, on the 13th, I’m going to see someone who might know, or who might at least have a way to find out. I’m going to make it a point to ask about pain relief options, because I’m currently experiencing a real energy low due to exhaustion from constant, never-ceasing pain. I’m really reluctant to take anything that could slow my digestion down (which is why I take even my Buscopan really sparingly). So that pretty much rules out the whole codeine/narcotics family of pain relievers. And anti-inflammatory drugs always seem to be hard on the stomach, but maybe there’s something else. If there is, I’ll post it here, because I know a lot of us are experiencing debilitating pain.
For now, I’m going to go eat more ice cubes.