You Can’t Fake Coconut Flour

Well, you can’t. I tried, with very little success.

I “Amazoned” myself a new cookbook on how to cook with coconut flour, since coconut bread seemed an attractive prospect. By the time it arrived, I had not yet actually found any coconut flour in my little city. SO, I decided to use my noggin and simply make coconut flour. After all, what was coconut flour but ground up coconut? I had a large bag of natural unsweetened dried coconut, and a food processor – what more could one need? Into the processor went the flaked coconut. Out of the processor came finely chopped flaked coconut, made sort of clumpy by the natural coconut oil it contained. More food-processor magic ensued. I tried a high speed. I tried a low speed. I tried the “pulse” setting. I tried the “ice” setting. After what seemed like ten minuets, what emerged was exactly the same as what had emerged after the first blending.

“Oh well…” I thought – maybe this was just what coconut flour looked like. I proceeded to make a banana nut coconut loaf (with Mexican vanilla, no less – will post the modified recipe later) and the mixture smelled heavenly. It baked in the oven like a dream, poufing up, light and lofty. I had bread! Or so it seemed. In the deep darkness at the bottom of the loaf pan, evil ensued.

You see, all my finely grated coconut, along with banana and nuts, had floated to the top of the pan. What settled underneath was the copious amount of egg the recipe called for. Thus, when I took my beautifully browned loaf out of the oven and cooled it and cut it open, I discovered that exactly half of the loaf was just baked egg, while the top half was grated coconut held together by banana and egg. Nothing had absorbed, or co-mingled, or tango-ed in the way it was supposed to. Well then: there was only one thing to do. I cut the bottom half of the loaf off, gave it to the dogs, and decided the top half was delicious – whatever undistinguishable food category it might fall into.

Today, however, I have real, actual coconut flour (see the picture above). It’s dry, floury, and nut-coloured rather than white, and there do not appear to be any golf-ball sized clumps. I shall attempt the coconut flour loaf again, and post the results. As far as making my own coconut flour goes… I think I’ll leave it to the experts, whom I have deemed to be “Bob’s Red Mill”.


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